Outside Wellness

I’VE BEEN THERE. TOTALLY OVERWHELMED, BUT THE “I’M OK, I’M OK” MANTRA KEEPS YOU FROM BREAKING DOWN. SOMETIMES.

And most of the time you are OK. But there’s still a lot that’s not OK. Building a family and parenting are so hard!

Your mind and body aren’t always going to function in the ways which others have deemed “normal.” 10-20% of known pregnancies end in loss. Going through fertility treatments, adoption, or surrogacy can be physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially draining. You may fear fewer opportunities if you’re honest about your family-building goals at work. Your partner (and yes, even your precious child) can be a pain in your postpartum butt!

It’s often easier to just say that you’re doing well than to admit that you need a break. Because when you are honest—here we go again—the advice comes cascading in.

It’s not just annoying, it’s maddening.

Perhaps you’ve even tried every diet, exercise, medication and meditation practice you can to “fix” yourself, but it hasn’t lasted because you can’t work yourself out of burnout! And you’re not broken. Just maybe a little messy (or maybe a lot). And isolated. And tired. And sick of being told “don’t worry, you’ll get through this.”

I know this because I’ve been there. I had spent nearly all my life doing all the things other people told me I should do to find purpose and peace—few things actually helped.

In 2018-2019, I lost two babies. I knew pregnancy loss was common, but like so many others, I didn’t think it could happen to me. Twice. I was young, active, into granola and kale and healthy stuff! What was I doing wrong? Grandmother told me that I need to take more vitamins. The doctor told me not to worry so much. The therapist told me to breathe. The acupuncturist gave me herbs. Work gave me the rest of the week off.

I knew something needed to change. And what I needed most was to sort through the advice and find my voice in all this clamor.

And once I started this journey, the smoke began to clear and I became overwhelmed (in the best way) with the amount of people out there who really didn’t care about what they “should” be doing. They were pioneers, protectors, explorers, adventurers. They were empty nesters, foster parents, adoptive parents, and gestational parents through many different conception methods. No matter what they had gone through, they were at peace with who they were, not just where they were, in their journey.

You don’t have to do everything. You don’t have to be everything for everyone.

Not here. Here, you get to be you. That’s all. And that’s enough.

Through this journey, I learned that my fertility challenges happened because of my body’s wisdom, not because I am broken. As a parent, I learned how to ask for help (and how to kindly tell others when they’re not helping). And I finally learned how to sort through the abundance of information and find my way to getting and staying well.

But this isn’t about me. It’s about you. So, I’m not here to give you more advice, share a 12-step plan to stress-free living, or sell a magic baby-making pill.

One thing I can guarantee, is a coaching foundation based in research-based positive psychology and motivational interviewing as well as an absolute commitment to meeting you wherever you are. Building authentic relationships are at the core of how this works and why this work matters.

Whether you’re deciding whether or not you want to have a child some day, trying to conceive, thinking about or undergoing fertility treatments, exploring your options, or are already a parent—Outside Wellness is here to help you think outside the box, simplify healthy living, and find freedom from preventable stress.

Once you clarify your own vision and start practicing who you want to become (piece by piece), you will see extraordinary changes in the way you feel inside your body and with the people around you.