I’m so glad you are here.
Even though it’s hard to ask for help.
*Especially because it’s hard to ask for help.
I’VE BEEN THERE. TOTALLY OVERWHELMED, BUT THE “I’M OK, I’M OK” MANTRA KEEPS YOU FROM BREAKING DOWN. SOMETIMES.
And most of the time you are OK. But there’s still a lot that’s not OK. Building a family and parenting are so hard!
Your mind and body aren’t always going to function in the ways which others have deemed “normal.” 10-20% of known pregnancies end in loss. Going through fertility treatments, adoption, or surrogacy can be physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially draining. You may fear fewer opportunities if you’re honest about your family-building goals at work. Your partner (and yes, even your precious child) can be a pain in your postpartum butt!
It’s often easier to just say that you’re doing well than to admit that you need a break. Because when you are honest—here we go again—the advice comes cascading in.
“You should… quit your job, take a vacation, try yoga, eat this, don’t eat that, see XYZ doctor/specialist/alternative practitioner/spiritual guide.”
It’s not just annoying, it’s maddening.
Perhaps you’ve even tried every diet, exercise, medication and meditation practice you can to “fix” yourself, but it hasn’t lasted because you can’t work yourself out of burnout! And you’re not broken. Just maybe a little messy (or maybe a lot). And isolated. And tired. And sick of being told “don’t worry, you’ll get through this.”
I know this because I’ve been there. I had spent nearly all my life doing all the things other people told me I should do to find purpose and peace—few things actually helped.
If you’ve made it this far, you know that quick fixes don’t work for you. You’re the type of person who wants to sort through the piles of junk you’ve been told and clarify what matters most to you so that you can finally find lasting wellbeing—even if your work-life “balance” and family-building journey look differently than you imagined it would.
In 2018-2019, I lost two babies. I knew pregnancy loss was common, but like so many others, I didn’t think it could happen to me. Twice. I was young, active, into granola and kale and healthy stuff! What was I doing wrong? Grandmother told me that I need to take more vitamins. The doctor told me not to worry so much. The therapist told me to breathe. The acupuncturist gave me herbs. Work gave me the rest of the week off.
I knew something needed to change. And what I needed most was to sort through the advice and find my voice in all this clamor.
And once I started this journey, the smoke began to clear and I became overwhelmed (in the best way) with the amount of people out there who really didn’t care about what they “should” be doing. They were pioneers, protectors, explorers, adventurers. They were empty nesters, foster parents, adoptive parents, and gestational parents through many different conception methods. No matter what they had gone through, they were at peace with who they were, not just where they were, in their journey.
You don’t have to do everything. You don’t have to be everything for everyone.
Not here. Here, you get to be you. That’s all. And that’s enough.
If you’re still reading, I want you to know there is a way through. This may not look like you thought it would—or how others have told you it should.
I’m here to tell you that it is completely possible for you to discover a version of * family * that’s perfect for you. This is your life. You get to set the rules.
Through this journey, I learned that my fertility challenges happened because of my body’s wisdom, not because I am broken. As a parent, I learned how to ask for help (and how to kindly tell others when they’re not helping). And I finally learned how to sort through the abundance of information and find my way to getting and staying well.
But this isn’t about me. It’s about you. So, I’m not here to give you more advice, share a 12-step plan to stress-free living, or sell a magic baby-making pill.
One thing I can guarantee, is a coaching foundation based in research-based positive psychology and motivational interviewing as well as an absolute commitment to meeting you wherever you are. Building authentic relationships are at the core of how this works and why this work matters.
Whether you’re deciding whether or not you want to have a child some day, trying to conceive, thinking about or undergoing fertility treatments, exploring your options, or are already a parent—Outside Wellness is here to help you think outside the box, simplify healthy living, and find freedom from preventable stress.
Once you clarify your own vision and start practicing who you want to become (piece by piece), you will see extraordinary changes in the way you feel inside your body and with the people around you.
I became a “dog person” when our quarantine dog, Sol joined the family in 2020 🐶
I’ve been a certified rock climbing instructor since 2014 ⛰
I’m a volunteer crisis counselor for the Crisis Text Line 🚨
I’m an ambivert (introverted-extrovert) 🧠
The first words I spoke to my (now) husband were, “I like bread” (he was a baker 🍞)
I am a child at heart 👶🏻
San Diego State University (Class of 2017)
B.A. Professional Writing Studies
Masaryk University Brno (2016)
Study Abroad Program: Education Studies
Mayo Clinic Wellness Coach Training Program (2020)
Mayo Clinic Certified Wellness Coach
Continuing Education / Certifications
National Board for Health and Wellness Coaches (2020)
National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC)
Mental Health First Aid (2020)
Mental Health First Aid Certified
Mindful Schools (2021)
Mindfulness in the Classroom Teacher
Collaborate Consulting (2022)
All Pregnant People: Trans fertility for birthworkers
Maternal Mental Health Now (2022)
Branching Out: Whole Person Perinatal Mental Health Care Conference
The Institute for the Study of Birth, Breath, and Death (2022)
Holding Space for Pregnancy Loss Course
What’s the difference between a therapist and a wellness coach?
Wellness coaches and psychotherapists both work within the art and science of facilitating change, however; there are many distinctions. A major difference between therapy and coaching is that a coach should acknowledge trauma if it arises, but only a therapist should deeply explore or treat it with a client. Or in other words, from the article, Coaching vs Psychotherapy in Health and Wellness: Overlap, Dissimilarities, and the Potential for Collaboration, “Coaches evoke and inquire; therapists also intervene” (Jordan; Livingstone, 2013).
Once a relationship is established, some sensitive topics may arise outside of my expertise, such as disordered eating, PTSD, clinical depression or anxiety. Some symptoms may indicate something deeper going on and it would be outside of my scope of practice to diagnose or treat you. If this occurs, I will directly refer you to someone whose job it is to help in these areas.
As a crisis counselor with Mental Health First Aid training, I’ve learned my limitations. Actively listening and being honest and authentic about my scope of practice can support the coaching relationship and help individuals receive the support they need.
I love working in tandem with mental-health-care professionals and have witnessed firsthand the benefits of working with both a therapist and a coach. If getting rid of disease doesn’t make one healthy—as positive psychology suggests—we can work on integrating our goals with a health coach while we are healing through therapy. There’s a lot of untapped potential for collaboration. And if you think that a therapist or other type of specialist is a better fit after all you’ve gone through—I can help you find someone amazing.